adverts

april 2005 - onwards

there's good adverts and bad adverts
there's just more bad than good .....
i'll add more as i remember them.

good adverts

bmw 1 series
while i wouldn't entertain owning a BMW, i can appreciate this advert.
the marriage of music and video is almost perfect.
and the video material is very innovative.

an advert for some nasal decongestant
okay, so i can't remember the product
and it's not a great advert
a woman is in a super market with her son
he throws a tantrum
so, she does
the one thing that sets this advert apart is the kid's reaction to seeing his mum being mardy

sure for men
this is the one with the world of stunt men
men hanging from helicopters going to work
man reading a burning newspaper
i'm not exactly sure what it's trying to say
but it's one of the few i'm happy to watch

that sony advert
the one with the 200,000 rubber balls in san francisco
just a good idea, well executed
what does it tell you about the tv ? not much, i'll grant you ...

 

bad adverts
where to begin ...

e-sure insurance
these are the ones featuring michael winner.
i suspect, he had more to with them than merely wander about with his swollen ego.
his use of the natural talents of people who aren't actors, is.... errr.... brave.
and i get the distinct impression that these people are all friends and relatives of his ....
there is a positive note, i've seen a "remix" of one these adverts, which is great.
they've also done a "cillit bang" remix.

air fresheners
i'm not gonna be more specific than this.
all of them. everyone.
when i was a kid, air fresheners didn't exist. after a while, pot pourri caught on.
so, why is it that we have them now ?
you watch and advert for them, and it's as though it's the most important thing in your life.
"what will your friend / relative / girlfriend think of you when she / he smells your house !?"
this whole strand of adverts is abhorrent.
the ones that are too self important.
"world poverty ?! no, you should be more concerned about how sparkling and clean that wine glass is !"

british airways
you know the one i mean.
the one where a guy gets into bed, in the open, in times square in new york
slow fade to black and back
to see him get out of bed next to tower bridge in london.
i can picture the advert executives, "how far can we stretch this ? how detached from reality can we get ?"
now, i've never traveled first class or business class
but i can't imagine it's that much removed from economy class.
a few more centimetres here, a few canapes there
but there's still all the checking in, the baggage carousel i-spy game, the sitting around, etc
on a wider note, while i enjoy flying
i understand that we can't carry on like this
for the sake of the planet and our ancestors, we have to cut back on flights !
they're at it again !!
in an, admittedly, well made advert
a guy books his flight on his laptop in his swanky flat
he walks through a doorway and takes his seat on the plane
yeah
that's my experience of flying ....
apart from the travel to the airport
apart from carrying your baggage through the airport
apart from queuing at the check in desk for an hour and a half
apart from then waiting in the departure lounge for another hour and half
apart from queuing to go on the plane
yeah, apart from these things, it's an accurate portrayal

peugeot
the one for the 407, where all the other cars are "toys" made car-sized.
unfortunately, when i watch this, i think i'd really like one of those quirky cars.
particularly the wind-up one, the one you have to jump into. fantastic for the environment.
then you see the 407 and you think, eurgh, that's horrible !
well, i do, anyway ....
aside from it's inherent ugliness, it's nowhere near as interesting as the others !

saab
this follows in the same strand as british airways
in that, they draw attention to failings or short comings
the advert in question shows a winter scene
but with spring appearing as a car, a saab, drives through the countryside
this car is single handedly warming the environment
hello !?!
this car is causing global warming !
not content with that, they've done another one
it shows "jet streams" coming off the back of the car
the car polluting the city

vw
this one shows a kid at school on his own
there's no other kids there
or staff
he kicks balls around and the sort of stuff you'd do in that situation
the bell rings, time to go home
out into the snow
to be picked by one of his parents in their volkswagen toareg, touraeg, toerag ... whatever
you see ?
because his parents have a four wheel drive vehicle, he was able to get to school
because, as we all know, no one uses a four wheel vehicle to take the kids to school ....
sheesh

bt
this one features jeremy clarkson, the face of BT ?!
anyway, it shows people answering the phone when it's not convenient
a woman on a potter's wheel ( yeah, it's annoying when i'm trying to throw a pot and the phone rings .... )
a man who was in the shower
a young couple about to kiss
boy, it's so annoying isn't it jeremy ?
what's the answer ?
"caller display"
oh
so, it's shows the number on the phone and i decide whether to answer it
hmm
i'll still have to step out of the shower, postpone the kiss or abort the pot
that's rubbish jeremy
sigh

lynx
the "spray more get more" campaign
the one where an ordinary guy spares something with lynx and a beautiful girl starts dancing, etc
these adverts are an affront to me and being single
they bear no relation to real life
but it's like a slap in the face
"you're stupid ! you could do this and get some"
pathetic

footballers in advertising
you can tell the football season has started again
when adverts are populated by footballers
"beckham shaves with one of these !"
"mourinho uses one of these sexy phones, you should too !"
"collina drives one of these, you should trust him !"
phones, razors and cars
pretty important devices, gotta have the right ones if you wanna get ahead in this world

pan-european adverts
lots of these about
cars, household products, food ( chocolate, pizzas, etc )
cars are easy to spot
they have few shots showing which side they're driving on
the kids often look mediterranean
i guess it makes sense, cost cutting
but it doesn't work for me

citroen - happy days
this is the advert for the citroen c3
it's one of those adverts where they take heads off one scene
and put them onto a different body
i love those ads
they work so well !!
but there are some very strange scenes in this advert
a policeman opens the boot of the car
inside 4 girls are crammed inside
it's fonz's car
he says "heyyyyy" and smiles
so much for kidnapping those girls
ah well
i don't recall what car he drove in the original series
but i don't think it was a family hatchback ....

philips tv
this is the advert for their new tv called ambi-colour or something
it's takes an average from the image and projects that colour onto the wall
which is quite clever
just a shame about the commercial
there are 2 couples on the sofa enjoying a football match on the tv
yeah
even the women ....
their dog walks past and stands on the remote control
who left that on the floor !
the image is suddenly desaturated
and the people are plunged into the 50's
sat perfectly still
the women play with their necklaces
the dog returns the tv to colour
and hey presto ! all is as it should
phew
a slight exaggeration here ...

xmas
you know it's getting near to christmas when the selection of adverts change
you get many more adverts for music albums
fererro rocha
and poncey fragrance adverts
why are fragrance adverts always poncey ?!

jaguar
this is the advert for that new jaguar sports car
the one that looks like a ford cougar
anyway, i feel like throwing up when it's on, there are so many "beautiful people" in it
that's about it really
that's what's so detestable